This is not THE stupidest five, there IS no stupidest five. It's not even five (it's eleven...I got carried away). It's just a chance to have a giggle at a bit of silliness.
So in no particular order:
Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta - 'The Simpsons')
It's hard to get a hold of the funniest man on TV online, and unless you are a nut you've seen him in action so here's his pitch for POTUS, as featured on Letterman last year.
Gareth Keenan (Mackenzie Crook - 'The Office')
It's easily argued that Gareth's boss, David Brent (the peerless Ricky Gervais) is as stupid as Gareth. But Crook's Gareth has that wounded bird quality that makes his gormless idiocy endearing.
Alice Tinker (Emma Chambers - 'The Vicar of Dibley')
Same goes for Alice. Plus she remained the funniest thing on a show that outstayed its welcome by 10 years.
Barney Fife (Don Knotts - 'The Andy Griffith Show')
There's a theme developing here. Gareth, Alice, Homer and Barney are all supremely dense, but you can't help but love them. Don Knotts played the same helpless, feckless eejit in just about everything he did, but as a child I loved his goofy eyes and soggy twig movement.
Jeff Murdock (Richard Coyle - 'Coupling')
Jeff almost fits the above group but he's as likely to make you want to hit him as hug him.
Ursula Buffay (Lisa Kudrow - 'Mad About You' & 'Friends')
Sure, Phoebe's a ditz and Joey's a blockhead, but Ursula is a transparent crayon.
Hank Kingsley (Jeffrey Tambor - 'The Larry Sanders Show')
Hank was Ed to Larry's Johnny, and as fucked up a character that ever graced a TV screen. Hank rarely fits the 'huggable idiot' category. Even when he floods into tears, you know he's just in crocodile mode to get what he wants.
George Costanza (Jason Alexander - Seinfeld)
George is not a stupid man, unless you consider self-inveigling ludicrous situations as stupid...actually, on second thoughts...
Darren Lamb (Steve Merchant - 'Extras')
Back to hug mode. Merchant as Darren put in one of the most underrated performances in TV comedy for some years. It's a star turn, as this clip shows.
George W. Bush (Himself - featured on 'Letterman')
He was a character, he was on TV and he was completely fucking stupid...so he's in.
Father Dougal Maguire (Ardal O'Hanlon - 'Father Ted')
If a gold medal had to be given for ultimate stupidhead, Dougal would make final three, if not win. He's a beautiful and wondrous eejit.
Unfortunately embedding was disabled on the bits I wanted to share, but these are worth clicking on:
Dougal on the Church